


Deciduous trees

by SoapyFroggy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Autistic John Egbert, FTM John Egbert, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, Hospitals, M/M, POV Second Person, POV dad egbert but also kinda not, Suicide Attempt, Trans John, Trans John Egbert, Trans Male Character, ginger dave strider, ginger striders, guys being dudes, its not as bad as it sounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25312237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoapyFroggy/pseuds/SoapyFroggy
Summary: Your name is Dadbert, and you're watching your son fall in love.
Relationships: Dad Egbert/Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider, John Egbert/Dave Strider
Comments: 5
Kudos: 71





	Deciduous trees

**Author's Note:**

> heed the tags for warnings!!

Right now, You are the father of a little boy (who you don't know is a boy yet). You show up to pick him up from kindergarten after work one day and he's sat in the corner giggling his butt off. He's in timeout with a strange ginger kid wearing anime glasses. So you go up to get him and the little ginger kid jumps up and threatens you with scissors to go get your son a "proper boys" haircut. You look down past the kindergartner, and there's June, grinning up at you. She has a surprisingly good haircut already and you decide that letting her have short hair can't be that bad. (Later on, the teacher would tell you about how she had started crying in class and Dave had stolen teachers scissors, hauled ass to the bathroom, and locked them both in a stall while he hacked off her hair for her. The teacher apologized for not being able to stop them both). So you do just that, you pay for her to get a shorter haircut. The hairdresser assures you they can "fix it" and make sure it "wasn't too masculine", To which you assure them it's what your daughter wants. You let her get the boys uniform, and afterwards, she asks to spend her saved up money on buying the ginger kid new glasses. 

So you watch this friendship unfold and a year later they're wearing matching overalls to school together over their uniform shirts. They have sleepovers every weekend together. They've memorized the way to each other's houses and they just switch back and forth most of the time. These kids are stuck together at the hip.

When this ginger kid finds out that June has sensory issues he starts to come over every fourth of July. Without fail. June always got upset by the fireworks and at least you know why now. The ginger kid- Dave -always shows up with comfort foods and blankets and headphones and these kids watch Indiana Jones together and cuddle all night. It's sweet. 

Dave finds out about Junes sensory issues and by third grade, he's her strongest ally. At the end of the day once their teacher pulled you aside to ask if you were alright with what was going on. After getting June's side of the story, you were more than ok with it. Turns out her sensory issues had been acting up and instead of calling her weird (as so many kids would have done) Dave marched right back inside from recess and told the teacher that he and June would not, in fact, be going outside. They sat down at the back of the classroom and made lego spaceships together. When asked why, Dave just shrugged and told the teacher that the other kids outside were too loud for him and it hurt his ears. He kept that lie up for most of their primary school because June was too embarrassed to tell the teachers herself. 

They just got closer and closer as the years go on, and your regular trips down to a summer beach house now ALWAYS includes the strider family. June had insisted on it. It had started with just Dave, then Dirk insisted he wanted to study marine life and you couldn't say no. Then Bro started coming down because he "couldn't just let you take the brats on your own".   
You have barbeques together and watch June and Dave play in the pool (While it was a beach house, the pool was still nice). Dirk was usually hunched over the grill figuring out how to double the flame power or reading a book, and Bro was usually hitting on you.

Then your daughter comes out as trans and is now your son- John -which you'd already suspected for a while. And this ginger kid who hacked off John's hair for him in the bathroom when they were in kindy is so proud of him and you suspect he already knew about it before John did. The other two striders are actually more concerned about letting them sleep in the same room now that John is out than they EVER were when he was still being called she, but it doesn't matter all too much because they're 12 now, and if they want to talk about girls and giggle together then who cares?

They go into highschool like they go into everything. together. You still remember the day when Broderick called you, laughing his ass off. Dave had broken someone's nose because they called John a filthy tranny. According to John when you picked him up from school, Dave had done more than break the kids nose. Despite being stuck at 5'0 and twinky, Dave had wrecked this guys shit. Spun him around, slammed him into the wall so hard his nose broke and ground his face into the concrete until he started crying and apologizing to John. You can't help but be a little proud. 

By the time they're 14 they're doing 'ironic' cosplays together. Sometimes you catch them sneaking each other kisses, but it still doesn't matter because they're teenagers and they can do what they want. John tells you about it later anyways, and insists the kisses are strictly platonic. And while that may be what they believe, you can tell the feelings are a little bit more than platonic on both sides. You don't mind if John leans down to kiss Dave while they do the dishes after dinner, as long as the leftovers get put in the fridge like you asked. So you leave it alone and pretend like you don't see the longing ways your sons (Because at this point, Dave is family) look at each other. You pretend not to see how whenever two characters in a movie get together John gives Dave a longing look, or how Dave tries desperately to get his attention but fails to notice when he catches it. You look away when you see Dave staring into Johns's eyes from across the table. (Usually, at the little diner you went to for lunch. John would be looking at something else and Dave would just stare. You pretend it's normal when they insist on getting a large milkshake with two straws in it to share.)

By age 15 their "hangout sessions" have turned into "ironic" dates. Sometimes that means ice skating together- and once again looking the other way when John stumbles and Dave steadies him and they end up staring at each other again -Sometimes it means seeing them making out on the couch and turning right back around. When you go down to the summer house again they have matching swim shirts and boxers, and Dave has bought John a binder made special for going swimming so that they're both comfortable. And John cackles when Dave does a joking striptease outside the house when getting into the rinse-off shower. They go inside together and despite the other Striders constant sex jokes, You know that the boys wouldn't do anything. John was self-conscious and Dave, while freakishly horny, respected him far too much to cross any boundaries. They'd been around each other naked since they were kids, and the most they ever did was cuddle in the spa bath. You remember because you thought it was just John, but when you opened the door to grope around for your shaving cream there was a lot of splashing from the bath and a high pitched "WE WERENT DOING ANYTHING" from Dave. At that point, you were certain they were dating, but you never asked them about it. 

And so just imagine for me, per se, that you're dadbert, and your son has just hit sixteen. He's started testosterone and has already hit a growth spurt. He's about a foot taller than Dave now and you're watching this poor ginger kid THIRST. It makes you a little uncomfortable thinking about the amount of bedroom eyes this kid is giving your son, But it's ok because you trust this kid. You've seen him when you buy fresh apple juice and his face lights up, and you've seen him take off his favourite jacket to wrap up an injured pigeon in the rain and take it home with him while he gets soaked. You've cleaned him up after enough fights (Which he won't tell you the reason for, but you know it's John) to know that he takes care of your son (No matter how much stronger John is). 

Just picture for me, that you are John's father, and this ginger kid that slowly became a part of the family has tried to kill himself. You get a call from John, who's in floods of tears 2 in the afternoon. Dave downed a bottle of Dirks Anti-depressants, Slit his wrists, and passed out in a bathtub. Nobody knows what prompted it (Mainly because Dave wasn't conscious enough to give a straight answer), but you certainly know that John stays next to his hospital bed while the staff take care of him. And for the entire time he's in the Psyche ward John sends him things. Like his favourite heir of breath sweater, which Dave always stole, and a Minecraft stuffed toy which he insists Dave will like more than ironically. He sends in various other gifts (Only ones that were allowed), and when Dave is let out he tackles John into the biggest hug you've ever seen. You're fairly certain they're lying on the floor for a good ten minutes, faces buried in each other's shoulders and arms wound tight around each other. 

They finally tell you that they're dating- and no shit, you already knew that -But you still make Dave a red velvet cake and congratulate them both. When they leave off your college together you joking tell them not to get any girls pregnant, Which is met by quite a bit of blushing and something mumbled about a strap on. You've blocked out the rest from your memory to avoid trauma. 

John skype calls you to tell you about getting on the football team, which he's surprisingly good at. There was quite a bit of arguing with the school about letting him join the team, which was ended by a threat of a lawsuit for their discrimination. A bit much but it got the job done. You offer to come up to see one of his games, and Dave, from the bed behind John, Calls out an offer to record it for you, followed by a quieter offer to wear a cheerleading outfit. You're pretty sure you weren't meant to hear the last part. 

When they come back from college they've already organized an apartment for themselves, and you help them pack up Johns room. They promise to come to visit as often as they can. 

Two or three years go by and they keep their promise of visiting. Every Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter they stay over. You all go out to lunch every now and then. It's on one of these occasions that you notice something. John has ordered a fuck off massive burger as usual, and Dave is eating entirely dessert foods again, but that isn't what catches your attention. It's the gold band around John's finger and the ring on the necklace that Dave is wearing. The engagement comes as no surprise when you've already noticed the rings. You scoop both boys up into a hug out of the table, and you don't mind the fact that you tear up a little. 

You have to BEG the boys not to make a star wars themed wedding. in the end, you only get halfway through to them, but it was enough. 

The wedding itself is gorgeous. They decided that instead of Suits or dresses they would go with puffy white shirts (Think pirates and Han solo) with black vests over the top. They look stunning. When John dip kisses Dave up the front everyone cheers, and on the way to the reception you meet up with the other (and now the only) striders. Bro has something "special" planned for the "daddy-daughter dance" and you're suspicious immediately. It's satisfying to see his face drop when the first dance comes on and halfway, once the little smoke machines have covered the floor fully, John pulls out a red lightsaber and Dave pulls out a blue one. The battle is unironically epic and there is no winner, the two of them just kiss to end it. 

When bro steps put onto the ~~battlefield~~ dance floor with a light-up Katana, Dave looks incredibly smug. He looks even smug-er when he manages to beat bro. John leans over to mutter to you about how damn in love he is before he's stepping over ~~bros corpse~~ bro (Who is now lying face-first on the floor, defeated) and pulling Dave in for another kiss. And maybe the kids were a little stupid and weird, but they were certainly happy. And that's all you needed to see. 

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are appreciated!


End file.
